Main Bhi “BABA”

Avinash’s note: This guest post is written by Pooja Bhardwaj. She is a typical Piscean who loves to enjoy each and every min of her life.

Standing near the door, managing myself in half square feet of area, amongst hyperactive women cribbing about mother-in-laws, bitching about “to-be daughter in laws”, at 7 in the morning makes me wonder if a special “Viagara powered women horlicks” is available at the local chemist. You guessed it right, m dragging myself to my office in the mumbai local train.

Amongst all the commotion, I manage to read the newspaper perched at an angle of 123 degree north and my spectacles at 495! My favorite is the speaking tree in TOI. On my voyage to this enlightening page, something rather interesting catches my attention. It’s the “Chitrakoot baba sex scandal” …wow! It definitely made me smile despite the painful angles my life was at now.

If you are a Mumbai local traveler, I bet one of the source of your entertainment on the way to office is the graffiti in the compartment- ranging from “I love you, Sheela” to incomprehensible graphics drawn by a frustrated man. I notice, recently the business opportunity has been tapped here. Something more interesting than the grafitti! Strips of papers pasted everywhere, each different from its neighbour read - Cure Fistula, improve your manhood, “Learn axelent English speaking- Don’t be down, win girls”

Flouroscent coloured cheap papers read “Baba Bangal wale”, “Baba Bhairavi” , (this one wins hands down) “Baba Jangli, for all Mangliks” ..F***ing rhythmic baba! I stood there reading each one….it had certainly changed my loyalty towards the speaking tree. One of it read – “If your daughter has her Jupiter sitting on 5th place , or if her moon refuses to kiss the sun, or if the Saturn has entered rahu, she will never get married”. “If your daughter’s ketu is sleeping with mangal, she is SCREWED!” ..and so on and so forth. I wondered in this so called economic capital, how many of educated parents will fall a prey to this bullshit, how many will suffer because one baba jangli has decided that someone will die- because 20 years ago a girl was born when the clock struck 12 noon 34 minutes and 5 seconds!!

In few recent instances, I have seen so called educated people blindly falling prey to this. MBA Marketing- top B- school grads fail to understand gimmicks of uneducated babas. I wonder how will it be to visit one of these baba homes- I guess they will shove up broom sticks up my nose and dance around me , so that I will get a promotion at my next appraisal.

I am no one to challenge these “Godmen”- afterall if they can predict birth and death- they are bloody talented and can easily replace god himself. As I reach Dadar, and the clock strikes 8:00 , I just wonder about this career option of becoming a baba - I will earn much more, I will be respected..and yes I will rule so many dumb minds in the world..! Atleast I will not have to travel in the locals at unearthly hours..not bad, not bad at all!

I will be in business till the end of patriarchy (oops the world)